Spiritual Memory

When I was growing up, I had (and still have) excellent parents. They were always such a good strong influence on my development of faith. We did family home evenings and family scripture studies. My mom was an amazing example of service and faithfully serving in one's calling. My parents are some of the best examples of covenant keeping people I've ever met. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.  

One of my favorite memories in particular, which I think of frequently, was when I was a teenager, maybe 17 years old. I was starting to be more consistent in my personal scripture study, and I was loving all that I was learning in seminary. I felt like I had a pretty solid testimony about God's existence and His love for me. The young women's theme taught me to believe that with all my heart. But I was struggling with the concept of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. How did the Atonement even work? How is it that one person's time in the garden and on the cross could save me, let alone every person who ever lived? With my scientific brain, I was trying to make it fit into a formula or equation. It felt too mystic to be real. 

I had multiple conversations with my dad about it, and he was very patient with me and my doubts and questions. One day, we turned to Isaiah 53, which is now one of my all time favorite chapters in scripture. I believe we read the whole chapter, and my good father explained what the verses meant. But it wasn't until we discussed the following verses that something clicked in my brain: 

10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 

11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

And dad explained it to me: Yet it pleased the Lord (God) to bruise him (Jesus) ; he (God) hath put him (Jesus) to grief: when thou shalt make his soul (Jesus') an offering for sin, he shall see his seed (talking about God), he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord (God) shall prosper in his hand (Jesus). He (God) shall see of the travail of his (Jesus) soul, and shall be satisfied... for he (Jesus) shall bear their (our) iniquities. 

It isn't something mystical or magical. It is simply what God decided would be enough. God decided from the very beginning that there would be a sacrifice for the sins of man. Jesus volunteered and was chosen. And when Jesus was there in the Garden and on the Cross, God observed "the travail of His soul," His suffering and death for us, and said it was enough -- it was what was required for our salvation. And Jesus accomplished it. It is our task in life to put our faith and trust in Christ, and when we repent continually and endure to the end, Christ has power to save us through His Atonement. Because God said it was enough. He was satisfied. 

This conversation with my dad is one of the foundational experiences of my faith in Jesus Christ. It was the beginning of my relationship with Jesus and my belief in His power to save and heal. It was a small start. But very necessary to the progression I have experienced since then.