December 27, 2009

Sunday

December has been a crazy month. Obviously…it has taken me weeks to catch up in my journal writing. The last little bit of school was good. I got a cold just after thanksgiving that prevented me from going to the gym, and then even when it went away about a week later, I didn’t go to the gym because I was out of the habit and studying for exams. I made a schedule for myself for studying for exams the last month of school, since I didn’t have any other homework or reading assignments. I blocked out hours for study that filled up my whole day until 6 in the evening. I got out of school a day earlier than everyone else, simply because my one Thursday class was cancelled the last day of school. So I got a jump start on studying, which was really nice. My scheduled time table for study did not work out as well as I had hoped, however. I was so nervous about my Pathophysiology exam that I studied just about all day for three and a half days for it, while ignoring the rest of my classes. I took it early in the afternoon on Monday (the first day of finals) and did better than I thought I would, getting an 85%. The rest of Monday was spent studying for my Spanish and sociology exams. I took both of them on Tuesday, which was so nice, to get two of them out of the way in one day. I didn’t do as well in my sociology test as I had on the midterm, I think 89%, or there abouts, and Spanish was all written, so I don’t know what I got, but I felt it went well. My last test was chemistry, but by the time that exam rolled around, I was so tired and weary of studying that I couldn’t study that much. Since my chemistry teacher drops the lowest score, I wasn’t that worried about this test. I knew I had a B in the class already, and it was a really hard decision to take the final, because I was not sure I could get a high enough grade on the final to raise it to a B+. But I felt that I should just go take it anyway. My goal was to take the exam at noon on Wednesday, so I studied as much as I could handle on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning; but I ended up doing many other things Wednesday morning (like do the dishes, tidy the house, and shower) rather than study because I couldn’t study anymore. I got a C on the test, by far my lowest test score in the class, but I was definitely past caring. I was done with finals!!!! Hooray!

Daniel had finished his finals on Tuesday during the day, so he helped me out a lot with doing things around the house while I studied. He was (and is) the best husband ever!

It was a good semester, but hard; and I have senioritis really bad. I love being at BYU and going to school and studying, but I’m definitely done with studying so hard, and I want to start learning things that I want to, not that I have to. This was a good semester for me partially because I made more of an effort to participate in classes and talk to people. I have always been shy about asking questions or participating in classes, but I’m getting a lot better.  I participate very often in church classes and I ask more questions in classes when I think of them than I used to. I’m really very proud of myself; it used to be so nerve-racking to do it, but something happened at the beginning of last semester that changed that. I think I just decided that I wouldn’t care so much what people think of me, that I’ll just try to be and do my best (including in school) and not worry so much. I do have a long way to go, and it’s been hard to get where I am here, but I’ve come very far.

So, as far as grades go, I think I’ve done pretty good. My two hard classes I got B’s in, which I was thrilled about. I thought they would be worse than that. I’m becoming more and more satisfied with B’s the longer I’m in school. Is it because I’ve gotten lazy, or because my classes have gotten harder? Either way…. I got an A in guitar and sociology (I think; not all of my grades have come out yet); an A- (hopefully) in Spanish; and a Pass in my seminar. I very pleased. And now, I only have one semester left, which is so crazy to me! 

Well, after finishing my finals, I sold back books (and got a lot of money back for them, surprisingly), and Daniel and I went snowboarding with Kathryn that night, Wednesday. One of the guys in Dan’s accounting group, and in our ward too, works at Sundance, and they were having free night skiing for two hours as an initiation into night skiing. So, we got to ski for two hours for free that night! It was so fun. I was a little weary and not wanting to go because last time I went snowboarding wasn’t fun. I was using someone else’s snowboard and my feet hurt really badly. Even when I rented new boots at Sundance. After our skiing adventure, we went to Bowman and Stephanie’s house to jump in their hot tub and play games with them. It was fun.

The days leading up to our departure to Medford were busy ones. We cleaned the house and went Christmas shopping, and did other things that we have been wanting and needing to do during the semester, but that we didn’t have time for. Thursday night, we went to Dan’s parent’s house. We left for Hannah’s wedding from there with Dan’s family. It was so nice to hang with his family and see Hannah and Nephi. It was a nice luncheon, so awesome for them not to have a reception because they left at 5pm and were done! Could just chill with each other and enjoy being married! After the reception, we went to see Bekah and Chris, because she’d just had her baby a couple of days before. It was so fun to see them and to hold their new baby. She is the cutest newborn baby I’ve ever seen! I loved holding her!

 First niece for either of us, Daniel and myself. She’s so cute! Brooklyn Elizabeth Nokes.

We left for Oregon early on Saturday morning and brought Brianna Houck with us. It’s a long drive, but we read a TON of Harry Potter, listened to some music, made little stops and got there by about 8pm. We made a lunch/dinner stop at Denio (a tiny little truck stop of a town); we had some pretty ordinary food, but it was kinda fun. We were the only people there to eat, and everyone else was family or friends.

This last week hasn’t been super-spectacular. It’s been really good to be with family. Mostly we have slept in, lazed around, watched movies, gone Christmas Shopping. On Tuesday, we all went to see the Princess and the Frog, the new animated Disney movie. It was really cute, and fun. We went to get Spuds at Abby’s pizza after the movie.

 A poster picture, since I can’t put my ticket stub in an electrical journal.

Other things that we have done this week: helped make cookies, drew names for gift exchange, went Christmas shopping at the mall, ate mom’s excellent food. On Christmas Eve, we had a formal dinner. Mom made ham and mashed potatoes, green beans and squash casserole. We all dressed up in church clothes, the table was set with our best things, and the candles were lit. It was a really nice dinner, and really delicious. After dinner, we had a Christmas program (devotional), and dad led a discussion about the prophecies of Christ. It was actually really awesome and I enjoyed it a lot, the discussion and focus on the Savior that is so appropriate this time of year.

When we were done with the devotional, we split up and went to deliver some Christmas treats to people in our ward. Scott, Daniel and I went to a few families, the Waggeners, the Clowards, the Cannons, mom’s friend Sharon, and the Wilders. Brother Wilder was my Sunday School teacher when I was in high school, and he’s not doing so well now. He had a really bad accident (a few it sounds like), and he has Parkinson’s disease now ( not solely from the accidents, naturally); he stutters really bad now. It was good to see him and his family. He’s such a good man, so cute! He loves me so much!

That night, we watched Scrooge (as is tradition with us) and ate treats. We didn’t get to bed until close to one in the morning. The next day was CHRISTMAS!!! Scott woke us all up around 8am and we all congregated in our bedroom for a little over half an hour. Dad came in shortly after that, we didn’t even have to wake Mom and Dad up at all, which is definitely a new thing for our family. We all went downstairs and looked at Santa presents. Santa got both Daniel and I some really nice things. We got electric toothbrushes, which I was really excited about. Dan got some nice clothes from, like, everyone. We got movies and a cookbook from Tarzana Ward, cookie sheets, gift cards, a bunch of games, and other things. Dan gave me some great presents: a jacket I wanted, an Anatomy book, and a world map (for us to track the places we have been and the places we want to go). And my siblings gave me other great things. Daniel and I bought mom a flirty apron for Christmas, and she absolutely loves it! It’s very exciting to give someone a gift that they really REALLY like. Mom also got a corner TV stand; I went with Dad to go pick one out, and we picked out a really nice one. She was really excited about that too, and it looks great in our living room. It was a fun, lazy day. We watched the Corpse Bride together, made salsa,  read, and played games. Mom didn’t want to cook, so we had leftovers, which was so good anyway. Brian called at about 10:30 in the morning on Christmas, he used Skype and called from a member’s house on their computer. Mom and dad got a web-cam especial for this occasion, and it was so cool to be able to see him while we talked to him. He looks so good and happy, and his Spanish is SO good! I’m really excited to see him when he gets back in June and when he comes to BYU!

Yesterday, Dan, Dad and I went to the temple and did family names in an endowment session. Dan and I were the witness couple, which was fun. It was nice to go to the temple, I really  needed it. After the temple, we came home, got ready, gathered up the rest of the kids and went to the gym. We played racquetball and basketball and lifted weights. Later, Dan, Dad, Scott and I went to the Hall’s ranch and played with Scott’s new bow and arrows. It was really fun, but freezing outside. We each took a turn, and during my second turn, I hit the outside ring of the bull’s eye (purely by accident). But I was pretty thrilled with myself! Dan did really well as well, he hit the most arrows in the black area, and Scott’s pretty good too. He loves doing archery.

After archery, we came back, Daniel and I got ready and went out on a date. We went to Fred Meyer’s first to return and exchange slippers for Daniel. Then we went to the Family Fun Center to play arcade games. We got a bunch of tickets to turn in for prizes, but nothing was good. So we got a hacky sack, a broken toy, and some tootsie rolls. Then, I took Daniel up to Roxy Ann, to go parking!! The view was really amazing up there. I’d never been up there at night because the gates always closed. But it was open, and the lights of the city covered partially by mist…it looked so cool. When we got home, we finished playing Mexican train with Mom and Dad that we had started on Christmas night. It took us until 1 in the morning! Yikes. We were extremely tired today at church say the least. I was asked to play the piano in primary, though, which kept me awake. Poor Daniel had a hard time though, he tells me.

After church, we helped mom clean up the house and make dinner, because the Telford’s, Sister Telford’s parents, and Brother Talley came for dinner and we had Navajo Tacos!! It was delicious. Diane, mary, and I cleaned up after eating, and then I went to read and fall asleep. Dan came a little bit after I fell asleep to come nap with me. And now, I’m catching up with my journaling. Now that I’m all caught up with the most important things, I can be more consistent with writing, hopefully. 

December 27, 2009

Sunday

I have been thinking about my goals for this next semester. Last semester, it was one of my goals to get into a good habit of going to the gym regularly, which I did fairly well at. I went in the mornings 3-5 days a week for a long time. I also made a goal to read scriptures everyday, and I did pretty well at this one, too, only missing a few days of the whole semester. I read most every day, even if it was a chapter or just a half a chapter.

This semester, I want to do better with the things I worked on last semester. So, I’m going to write down my goals and try to review them more, so that I can keep track of how I’m doing.

Goals for Winter 2010 semester:

Health

·       Run 3-4 times a week, according to the calendar

·       Lift weights 2 times a week, according to training schedule

·       Lose 10-15 pounds

·       Eat healthier:

o   No dairy

o   More fruits and veggies, less meat

o   Control serving sizes

o   Cut back sweets

Spirituality

·       Read scriptures in morning, 30 minutes

·       Write in journal once a week

·       Pray earlier in evening

School/Future

·       Apply for internships

·       Study up on personal training programs

Service

·       Serve more!!!

·       TOPS?

·       Family History

December 6, 2009

Sunday

The past few days have been kind of up and down. Friday, I studied in the morning for my Pathophysiology exam, which I took after my biochemistry class. I was really upset about it, because I studied so hard for this test, and I got a C on it! I was really mad afterwards. I got over it quickly, just because I knew that it didn’t really matter all that much. I read some of Brian’s letters that I hadn’t read and wrote to him during the break. I skipped Spanish, mostly because I didn’t want to go (I wasn’t in the greatest mood, you know), but also to work on other things.

After school, I worked on my Spanish project for a little over an hour while Daniel was working with his group. I got sick of working on my project (it was rather frustrating, I couldn’t find many sources on my topic), so I started looking up summer internships, especially with fitness clubs. That night there was a ward Christmas party that we went to. It was good; we had some Hawaiian food and won a “date night kit” in the raffle (which was a fun surprise). We studied pretty much all night after the party, because we have a lot to do to prepare for next week’s projects and tests. I got a lot of my project done for Spanish, which surprised me. I just used books that I’d gotten from the library and that I have. That night before going to bed, Daniel went to the store to get me some cold medicine and stuff for me. It was really nice of him, he’s the sweetest husband in the world. He takes such good care of me.

We went to bed pretty late that night, but then Dan had to go to campus early the next morning to study for a test with his group. I got up after he left, watched a little TV while eating breakfast, and then I started working on my Spanish project again. I found a lot more articles, using different wording in my search, than I had on Friday. I was excited to find more articles to help me out, because then I don’t have to change my topic. I made fried rice about the time that Daniel came home. He watched TV and ate, and I just worked on making food and I started studying for my chemistry exam. Dan went to the ward service project shortly after that, and I stayed home to study, because I am sick and didn’t want to get everyone else sick.

After Dan had been back for a while, I took a nap, and then we went to the temple together. We did iniciatories because Daniel wanted to be quicker about it. It was really good, going to the temple. The wait for iniciatories was about half an hour in the women’s room, so I just read the scriptures for a while before it was my turn. I love going to the temple; it’s so peaceful and calm. What a blessing that we have a temple so close!! Daniel was so sweet, he let me stay in the temple while he went to get the car, because I am sick. He’s such a sweet husband, the best!

When we got home, we cleaned up the apartment a bit, and then dropped by the neighbor’s house for a little while. They were having a Christmas party, and we couldn’t stay long, but wanted to be sociable and meet people. We didn’t know hardly anyone there, so it was a little awkward and weird. But, like I said, we didn’t stay long, and when we got home, Kat was already here, making some food. Dan helped me to make the curry and clean up the kitchen, and then when all the girls started showing up, he went into our bedroom to study. Alicia, Alison, and Naomi came over in shifts and we had a fun time eating good food, talking a whole bunch, and playing Tribond. They stayed a little too late (or way too late), it wasn’t until about one o’clock in the morning when I finally said that I should go to bed. And Daniel was mad at me. He had waited for me for a long time to read scriptures and pray so that he could sleep; and I felt really bad. For like, half an hour, I kept thinking that I needed to get them out so that I could go to bed, but it was hard, because they were talking a lot. That’s all well and good, we needed to catch up with each other because it’s been a while since we have seen each other.  But I felt bad about keeping Daniel up. They left, and Kat stayed the night, and she wanted to talk a little while about Michael and her situation, so I stayed out a little longer, in the name of helping a friend out and listening to her when she needed me. She knows her situation and the consequences that will happen because of getting a divorce; but she also feels sick when she thinks about staying married to Michael. I just felt really sorry for her. What a sad and hard situation to be in, and so young!

Kathryn said something really nice last night, when we were talking. She asked me how we were doing, and I said we were really good, that marriage is treating us so amazingly. She said that it feels good here (as in, our apartment), that it feels good and peaceful, that she could really feel the Spirit in our home, which was so different than her place with Mike. That was such a compliment to us, I think, because that is what we really want in our home, and it feels so good that people can come to our home and feel at peace and comfortable. That just touched me so much, that she could feel that. That’s exactly what Daniel and I want in our home.

Dan was mad at me, but we read scriptures and said prayers and went to bed. It took me a while to fall asleep, I just felt so bad and selfish for making Daniel wait all night. And I decided that I need to stop focusing on myself so much. I’m really selfish. Dan does so much for me, and I don’t return it, hardly ever. I felt even worse about that, because I know that Dan will get over being mad, but I realized I don’t treat him as well as I should.

Church was AMAZING today. All of the testimonies were good and I felt the Spirit so strong. Sunday school was about the armor of God, and the Spirit was so strong. And then RS was about Christmas, and the girl teaching, Hilary, had a few women sing Christmas songs in her lesson, and it was so good! I felt so blessed all day to be at church because of how close to God and Jesus, and because of how my testimony was strengthened. It was way good. Kat came to church with us today, and she said she really likes our ward. It is a really good ward. I wish I felt more a part of it!

After church, Daniel and I talked about what happened last night, which was good; we took a nap, and went to tithing settlement with Liz and Adam. Then Kat and I started making food this afternoon for when our friends come over for dinner. Daniel read mostly, he read some of his first journal to us, which was really funny and cute! It’s been a really good Sunday! I have felt so close to Heavenly Father today, I have really felt the Spirit, and I have felt the love of Christ for me. How wonderful it is that I have that! I am so thankful and so blessed!  

December 3, 2009

Thursday

This has been a pretty good week so far. I started getting sick on Tuesday, and now I have a cold, but otherwise I’m good.

Tuesday, after I wrote, I made Daniel some dinner (just some spaghetti … nothing big), and then took it to school for him. We studied on campus for a few hours.

On Wednesday, I just studied and went to classes. I started feeling more and more sick that day, so when Daniel and I got home, I stayed while he went to Guitar Class review. That night, I also called Kathryn and she told me that she and Mike were getting a divorce. I was surprised and not surprised, but regardless, I was pretty shaken up.

Today, after my class and studying for a while, Kathryn came over and explained why they were getting divorced. She said that for months she has been miserable in her marriage, that it wasn’t the kind of marriage that she expected or wanted. They have been having major problems (which we knew, because Michael has called us about Kathryn, and every time they came over we could sense something was wrong), and they have been considering different options, counseling with their bishop, praying, going to the temple. And every time they came up with some new way to help themselves and fix it, she supposedly felt uneasy and anxious about it. But once she eventually decided on divorce, she “felt at peace” and she’s felt more and more confident about this decision. She said she knew she shouldn’t marry Michael, she had been warned, but she ignored it and married him anyway. And she even regretted the decision the day they got married. Unbelievable! And the whole time they were dating, they fought a TON, and Dan and I were always thinking they were crazy for even wanting to get married. She said she felt completely trapped and wanted out of her marriage so bad, but she felt like God wouldn’t let her. But when she felt like it was right she was astounded that it was okay; she felt like God knew she had made a mistake and that he was going to help her out of it. I don’t know the details of what went on with them; she didn’t tell me. But it’s hard for me to believe that she really got the impression to get a divorce, rather than try working it through. And there are no hard feelings between them, they’re still friends! Why would a couple of good friends get divorced if they can still tease each other and have a good time. The whole things doesn’t make complete sense to me. Or Daniel.

But I need to remember to withhold my judgments, because I don’t know the whole situation. Maybe Heavenly Father did impress to her that she could get out of her marriage. I just don’t know. But I think they were hasty with the whole thing. They were hasty jumping into marriage, and they were just as hasty jumping back out. Michael doesn’t want to get a divorce, he still wants to work it through. It’s just Kathryn. The situation is just stupid, all around. I never thought they should get married in the first place, but Kat seemed SO SURE, she kept telling me how perfect they were for each other. It seems she was trying to convince herself as much as she was me. And now what? For both of them? She’s living with her parents for now, not going to school, not working. He’s hopping from relative to relative until the semester’s up. But their entire futures are going to be different. What happens when they start dating again? How is this going to change their view on marriage? Are they always going to see divorce as an easy out of a marriage? Is Kat going to go back to school? Daniel and I don’t understand how this could happen. We are so happy in our marriage, and we are convinced that any two righteous people could make it work. So what happened? She just said they are completely wrong for each other. But I think she could’ve changed and made it work.

I have been really shaken up by this, obviously. She’s my best friend, and she got divorced at age 22, 7 months after the beginning of her marriage. She still supposed to be honeymooning! It’s just too close to home, for comfort. I have complete confidence in Daniel and myself, I don’t think for one second that it will ever get that bad. But I do think that it will take a lot of help and a lot of following the Spirit and a lot of work and a lot of losing ourselves for the good of the other. And we don’t claim to be “completely perfect for each other”. I love my friend Kathryn; but I think she’s unwise, and a little lost. And I don’t want her ideas about marriage and life and love to find themselves into my life and thoughts.

I talked to my mom after Kat left today, because I needed to talk to her. She is wise and gives me great perspective about things when I need them. And she said it would be normal for me to feel uneasy about this and nervous. It’s just so close. She also felt like Kat is a lost soul, doesn’t really know what she wants or needs, which I think is true. Well, anyway, talking to Mom really helped me sort my thoughts out. I feel really awful about it, really awful for Kat and Mike. What a horrible thing to have to go through, what a huge mistake! And what consequences there will be in the future, unknown to me and to them, I’m sure.

I really don’t want to end up where they are going in life!

Later, when Daniel came home, we went to a guitar concert (to fulfill a requirement for our guitar class), then walked around the HFAC to look at the art and photos. We had a little dinner at Wendy’s from the Value Menu, and then we went grocery shopping. We didn’t have much food to eat in our house.

It’s been a weird few days, what with this Kathryn thing and getting ready for the end of the semester. I’m just done with it all. I want to be done.