A Lil' Nighttime Nakiness

Not much has been happening around here. The end of last week was a struggle finding motivation to do anything. I was feeling really tired and out of energy, so some things just slipped through my fingers. Mostly cleaning house and chores and stuff; I've gotten the ones I missed done this week, though.

On Thursday evening, Nicole Faucette and Denae Garrison threw me a baby shower. It was very fun. We had some delicious food (they even made/bought some vegan things for me!), chatted, and then they put me in this big cozy chair and had me open presents. It was so nice. Mostly we got new clothes for the baby, but also some blankets, some cute burp cloths, some toys and books. Lynn Lamb made this frilly, adorable quilt! Women who came: Denae, Belinda Oborn, Chelsey Bulkley, Emilee Mapp, Jennie Petho, Brynn Candell, Allison Leishman, Megan Haslam, Nicole, Jennifer Tavelli, Stacy Hansen, Lynn Lamb, Ashley Sheffield.

A bunch of people have been apologizing for missing the shower. I guess the word just didn't get out. But I felt a little weird having a shower, since we have everything we need for this baby (and then some). So everything felt a little superfluous. Nice, but not entirely necessary.

Saturday was busy for me. It was weird how little time I spent with Brooke that day, when I am usually with her all the time. I went to Cassie Pastor's baby shower in the morning. I had to leave early so I could go get her a present, and then I stayed way later than I had intended. But it was nice to get out of the house for a bit. Daniel and Brooke spent the time working on house projects together. :) Then, after her nap, we took a walk down to the park. It was a nice, beautiful day. Not hot, so we took advantage. Brooke helped me make pumpkin muffins when we got home, while Daniel started working a bit. Then I skipped off to the Sarmientos (with my muffins) for a little pot luck get together to watch the General Women's Conference. I ended up being the only one to show up, which made me feel a little awkward. But, it was nice to get to know the Sarmientos a little bit better.

The conference was wonderful! They talked a lot about the temple and staying true to our covenants and being obedient. I'm excited to watch/read it over again.

After church on Sunday, I went right to work making dinner. We had Salvador, a new convert in our ward, and the sister missionaries over for an early dinner that night. I just did baked potatoes and salad and brownies. Low-key dinner (I didn't have much notice ... Daniel told me the night before that Salvador was coming, and then the missionaries told me at church that they didn't have anyone feeding them that night), but it was nice.

This week I feel renewed energy to get some things done. It's probably hitting me that there is still a lot to do to prepare for the baby, and less than 3 weeks left to do them! So, I made a list yesterday of all the things that have to get done before mom gets here on the 15th, and I'm slowly chipping away on that list this week. Yesterday morning, when it was still cool, Brooke and I hung out in the garage. She drew with sidewalk chalk and made messes and got into stuff (like usual) while I sanded down the toddler bed for Brooke, in preparation to stain it. It's in pretty bad shape. Today I preregistered and packed our hospital bag, and also washed the boppies and new baby clothes and reorganized some things so that Brooke isn't making super messes. I'll teach piano this afternoon. I sure hope she doesn't decide to come early!

Brooke has been really loving books this past week or so. I pulled out all the Halloween books when we decorated last week, and I think having some new books to read has re-sparked her interest. Plus, we got this new board book from the shower, I think called "Moo, Baa, La-La-La". Anyway, I've been reading that one over and over and over and over ... all day today (so far). It's fun to read to her. This morning, I was cleaning up breakfast stuff and trying to get going with my day, and she came upstairs to play. After a little while, I heard her talking and screaming and singing to herself. I had to sneak up the stairs to see what she was doing. She had a book in her lap, and she was "reading" to herself! It was so cute. And she, of course, saw me, so she beckoned me to come and read the book to her. Which, I happily did. We did our chores later. :)

Last night, Brooke stayed awake really late into the night. After she'd been in bed for over 2 hours, she started whining for me, and then crying for me, and then screaming for me. Daniel was home last night, and he suggested we go upstairs to her. He said she might be naked. (Sunday night, I went in after she was sleeping to check on her, and she had unzipped the top part of her pajamas and taken her arms out of the sleeves. So she was entirely naked on top. Silly girl!) Well, we went in, and sure enough, her pjs were zipped all the way down, she still had all her limbs where they were supposed to be, but her diaper had disappeared! And her pacifiers were on the ground. We found her diaper and put it back on her, zipped her up, gave her pacifiers, sang a song to her a left. She still stayed awake for about an hour or so after that. Maybe more. I was frustrated, so I turned the monitor off. She's been so silly about sleeping lately!

This week ...

...has been surprisingly busy, in a way.

Since the weather has been cooling down, Brooke and I took a little walk to the park on Monday morning. We stayed for nearly 2 hours, I think, and I took a few laps around the little continuous trail they have going around the park, so I could feel like I did a little workout. Brooke had a nice time playing with some kids that were there. It's nice when there are other kids. She usually wants to stay longer if there are, and she is occupied and entertained trying to keep up and play with them.

I stayed busy with some projects that day, during Brooke's nap. She took a RIDICULOUS nap on Monday. I put her to bed around 12:30, and she was acting pretty tired, so she fell asleep fairly quickly. I kept hearing her wake up and make noises, but every time I went to check on her, she'd fallen back to sleep again. I ended up having to wake her up at a quarter to 4! It was crazy. But I did get a lot done. :)

That afternoon was quite short, really, since she took such a long nap. We painted and made pumpkin bread (new recipe :) ) and made some dinner. I cleaned up while she played after dinner, and then we went upstairs to clean up the toys together.

She missed out on songs at bedtime that night. She's gotten into this thing where she will run away at certain points during our routine: after reading books, she runs out into the loft or our bedroom; after scripture study or prayer, she runs. And I just don't think it's good to get into habits like that, and I want her to be obedient. So I told her if she runs away, we skip songs. We go straight to bed after prayer. And that's what we did. I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle", just because we do that every time she lays down. But no fun songs. She was really sad about it. And so was I. :( I love singing with her and watch her get so excited about singing her favorite songs. It broke my heart not to do it that night.

Yesterday I had a checkup. Daniel wanted to come, so Brooke came with us too. We waited in the waiting room for OVER AN HOUR before Daniel said something, and they hastened to get us a room ready. Seriously. Over and hour. I was so so SO mad! I honestly hate going to see doctors. I seem to always have bad experiences. I felt bad for Daniel and Brooke, who were both bored stiff waiting (as I was, but they didn't have to be there). Daniel took Brooke out of the office to run around and play at one point, and every time he tried to bring her back in, she cried. She was so done. And Daniel was, of course, 2 1/2 hours late to work, which is really bad for him at this time.

Anyway, the appointment went fine. Baby is measuring a little small for my due date. The doctor I saw was nice enough. He said he's not worried about her measuring small; it just means she won't grow too big. We'll see. I just know she's going to be so late! Her heartbeat is strong, everything is going well. So, we waited for an hour and a half to see the doc, he did his thing, talked to us for a few minutes, the appointment took all of 10 minutes (if that), and then we left.

I was going to run errands after that, but I was so frustrated, and we really didn't have that much time left over after that, I didn't think I could handle the added frustration of shopping. We dropped Daniel off at work, took some pumpkin bread to the Leishmans, and went home.

Brooke took a long time to fall asleep for nap. That always makes me nervous. Because after an hour of her staying awake, I usually just go get her and put her to bed early. But I hate when she skips her nap! She is currently doing that very thing to me right this moment! Jumping up and down in her crib and giggling to herself. It might be an early bedtime night tonight. Fortunately, yesterday, she did actually fall asleep. It wasn't a particularly long nap. But I did get a few things done.

After her nap, I took her to Stacy Hansen's house (she's my visiting teacher). She wants to watch Brooke so that I can rest or get things done, now that we're getting right down to the wire. It's very nice of her. I wrote, taught a piano lesson, and finished making dinner while Brooke was gone. It's funny: we moms need breaks from our kids every now and again; but every time we get one, we miss our kids! It was so weird without Brooke there, but I must admit, a little nice to do things at my own pace.

I picked Brooke up, we picked Dadda up, I dropped them off at home, and I went to a Girls Night Out Relief Society Activity. We went for dinner at BJ's Restaurant. It was fun! I just chatted with Nicole Faucette and a new girl in the ward, Jennie. And of course, others of the sisters there. It was nice to get out.

I stayed later than I had planned, so I didn't get to do any of the errands I missed doing in the morning. Oh well. Another day. I went home and vegged for a little while before going to bed. I was exhausted. I probably should've gone to bed earlier.

We all slept in this morning. Brooke was still awake when I got home last night, which means she stayed up pretty late. She kept asking for me. It was so cute! So, it was a weird morning. We slept in, I didn't get to do any of my morning stuff (you know, the stuff I like to get done at the beginning of the day and before Brooke is up: scripture study, workout, get ready), so I was kind of trying to cram it in at any point during the morning.

Lucy came over to play. It was not a great day for those girls, though. Brooke just got a new toy, a little broom and dustpan with an apron. And they both wanted to play with it. Lucy is pretty bossy and pushy, and I think Brooke is finally starting to realize that she doesn't have to give up her toys whenever Lucy takes them. So ... there were many tears (from Brooke), and many attempts at hitting with the broom (from Lucy). I took the broom away. Lucy is just a tornado! She runs over anything she sees. I brought chalk out for the girls to draw on the sidewalk. Lucy just started throwing and breaking the chalk. She took the bag away from Brooke, which resulted in Brooke crying. She drew on the side of the house. I took the chalk away. She also broke my little snowglobe Halloween decoration. (Yes. We decorated for Halloween on Monday night, for family home evening, when Daniel got home from work.) I try to be patient, but she is a real piece of work. And getting worse, I think, the more comfortable she gets at our house. Today might be the last time she comes in a while. I'm too big and uncomfortable and tired to keep up with her shenanigans. And then we'll have a brand new baby. So ... I think I'm done for a while.

I'm hoping to take Brooke swimming today once she wakes up. It's a bit warmer today than it has been since last week, and we probably won't be able to swim as much from here on out. We'll see. Sometimes she gets into these moods where she doesn't want to do any of the stuff she normally loves to do.  Weirdo.

(Knock, knock, knock) "Housekeeping!"

So. One of two things happened. Either I felt so inadequate after my earlier planning attempts (with birthday stuff, and whatnot). OR I have seriously gotten into the nesting phase of pregnancy.

Either way, I was feeling a little bit ... unsatisfied with the way I was housekeeping. I picked up and started re-reading the books that mom gave me about running a household: "Confession of an Organized Housewife" and "Sidetracked Home Executives". I guess I was looking for some great ideas to implement in my current running. Or it's just that I have been feeling bored of my housework and just needed some motivation. But lately, since I started reading these books again a couple of weeks ago or so, I've been updating my cleaning schedules, rearranging some things in my planner and updating my sheets, and reorganizing things. Since Brooke has gotten so good at making messes, I've had to find new places to put certain items. (You know, I was talking to my sister, Mary, today and telling her about Brooke's mess-making abilities. She mentioned that now is a great time [note the sarcasm] for her to be making such messes, right before a new baby comes. I never even thought of that. It may be that my housekeeping skills will be taking a dive in quality for a few months until I catch my breath!)

I've also been thinking about how sometimes I just get bored during the day. Some days are just, for whatever reason, long! I feel bad that I feel that way. I mean, I am doing what I wanted to do. And I do love my child (almost children! Eek!), and I do love spending time with her. But ... I don't know, sometimes I just feel like I'm not using my time well enough. I realize that every moment of every day doesn't have to be productive and taken up with housework or projects. It's okay for me to just sit with Brooke and be mom. And usually, I'm good with that. But, especially lately, I just get bored.

Maybe I need to find new activities for Brooke and I to do. The weather is finally cooling off in the mornings, so we can go to the park again. And there is always the pool (although at this point, it seems to take more energy than it's worth to go to the pool). But many days, we stay inside all. day. long. and it gets old without some real stuff to do.

I wish I was more of a go-getter type person. I see all these amazing women juggling kids and jobs and houses and husbands, and they all seem to do these amazing things with their kids constantly; making Popsicle stick houses, macaroni necklaces, painting with old marshmallows, baking and decorating sugar cookies, and on and on. They make me feel so lazy! I feel a bit of pressure to be a cooler mom that does cooler stuff with her kids. Yet, at the same time, I feel the need to help Brooke be a self-starter, self-entertainer, self-motivator.

WHERE'S THE BALANCE?!?

I know. I know. I hear a voice in the back of my head: "You can't be comparing yourself to anyone else. You have your own talents and abilities that other people don't have. Your circumstances and personality are different. Would you even be happy if you made yourself as busy as them?" And on and on. (I practically hear that being said in Daniel's voice. :) ) Sometimes, though, I want to tell that voice to shut it! "I can do it all! I can be clever and creative and do amazing activities with my kids and keep an immaculate house and learn to decorate cakes and be the best, most romantic wife ever and help my neighbors more and teach more piano lessons..." Aaaand, on and on.

I suppose, it all comes down to the fact that I know that I'm doing what I want to be doing. Raising my family. Taking care of my husband and kids. Keeping house. Giving service. It's the most important work, and I really, truly believe that. However. I might need to feel some new direction and motivation. I might need to make some new goals. I might need to learn new things and work my brain more. I might just need a little change.

Maybe this baby is coming at the perfect time ...

"Mess-maker, Mess-maker, Make Me A Mess!"

The last few weeks have been kind of interesting. The first 2 weeks of September were busy, it seemed like I was gearing up for one big-ish event after another.

First, Deidre Bowen got married on the 6th, a Saturday. She had her reception at the LA Train Club, where Peter is a member with his own little engine. It was actually pretty cool, not my style, but fun. We saw all our family that we haven't seen in some time, Brooke got to ride on a train once, and we had a good time. It was HOT, though! Over 100!

Then, it was Daniel's birthday on the 10th. I bought him a couple of gifts, and then made him a couple more. And it took longer than I thought it was, so that whole first week, I was planning and preparing, when I wasn't taking care of house or Brooke. On his actual birthday, Brooke and I took the car (we had a few more things to get for celebrating his day). I watched Tad and Lucy in the morning, which kept us nice and busy. And after nap, Brooke and I went to get him another present, a Jamba Juice, some tomato bisque from Mimi's Cafe, and then picked up the birthday boy. We had dinner together, and, after putting Brooke to bed, Daniel took a much needed rest and downtime while I made his birthday dessert and wrapped his last present. It was a little bit sad when I actually sang to him. I made him Banana Bread Cobbler, put 30 candles in it, lit them all, and then ... it was just me singing to him. It felt really anti-climactic, and I felt kind of bad. 30th birthday should be amazing, right?!? And yet... It would have been better had I planned it better and Brooke was there to sing too. Plus, the cobbler was still hot, even though it had been sitting for 45 minutes. So not only did the candles drip wax on it while they were lit, but the wax melted into the cobbler just from being inside the hot dessert! Note to self .... To say the least, it was a bit lame, I felt bad, and it definitely hadn't gone the way I'd wanted it to.

That Saturday, we had a little party for Daniel's birthday, as well. I had invited some friends from the ward to come and eat and chat. We had the Leishmans, the Faucettes, the Bulkleys, and the Mapps. I invited more people than that; some people couldn't come; others said they would and then didn't. You know how it goes. We were going to build a fire in the pit, roast hotdogs and marshmallows and eat some other delicious food. BUT ... of course, the day I plan to do a fire was one of the hottest days we'd experienced all summer. So, we had the party confined inside. It was fine, but again, a bit of a let-down. And I sort of felt like we should've had some games planned, or something. Because after we had all finished eating, the kids went upstairs to play and the adults just sat around, like they were waiting to do something cool. I'm apparently not much of a party planner. I wish that I was. Plus, I was in the kitchen still preparing food and desserts for most of the time. I had, of course, forgotten to get powdered sugar for the cupcake's frosting. So Daniel picked some up on his way home from work that day.

The next day was Sunday. And it was the Relief Society Program. I played the organ and spoke in Sacrament meeting. I only had to speak for a few minutes; but I was nervous about what I was talking about, and I was a little overly emotional (dang it, pregnancy!). So, even though I got a lot of "thank you"s and compliments, I still felt a little weird about it. It was a HUGE relief being done with that.

The following Tuesday, (we're at the 16th now) was a Relief Society dinner. Which I was not in charge of, hallelujah. Christine Snelson had this one all planned out. I had my few little assignments to take care of, which I did, and then I just showed up and helped where I could. It was fun. That week was seriously hot, though, over 100 degrees on most days. And the building didn't really cool down enough. So, we were a little warm all night. The theme was football season, "Souper Bowl". So we had soups and salad and bread for dinner, and there was a short program. I had invited Tracy and Evita, our neighbors. Tracy was planning to come, but something else came up for her and she couldn't make it. Aria, Evita's little girl, had cheer practice, but they came afterwards. The whole thing was pretty much over by the time she and her girls made it, so I felt kind of bad. But they had some food, and a bunch of people came over to talk to them, which was a relief to me. I was hoping that Evita would be welcomed by a lot of the sisters. I pretty much knew she would be, but still...

After that, it's been smooth sailing! Nothing else big happened since then. I did have a checkup on Tuesday in the morning, and it went well. Baby girl is doing just fine; maybe not moving as much. But I imagine it's getting a bit tight in there. :) The doctor did an ultrasound, to make sure her head was down. It was about a minute, or even less. But it was fun to see her little face, and good to know that she is in position.

Brooke and I have been going to the park this week, since that ridiculously hot week has passed and it's starting to get cooler. It's been nice. I think I've been feeling the effects of the heat and being cooped up inside all day everyday. We even spent part of an afternoon or two outside in the front or back, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk and blowing bubbles. It's been really lovely.

Brooke has been getting really good at making messes, and I'm starting to rethink where I have things stored. I might make some changes this week. Today, she got into our toothpaste and lotion, smearing it all over her face and the cabinets. She's also pulled out almost an entire roll of floss. She scatters clips and hairties (until I put them out of reach, finally) all over the loft. She has figured out how to unscrew things, so, like ... the spice bottles (I came downstairs one afternoon to find cardamom or something all over the kitchen floor), lotion bottles, etc., etc., etc. It's getting a little tiring cleaning up after her. I have her help me; but trying to get her to stay focused on cleaning up is almost just as tiring as doing it all myself.

At the same time, she's just so cute. Sometimes I just like to sit and watch her play, and see what kinds of things her little imagination is coming up with. She loves to play with the blocks we got her for her birthday. She builds "alligators" and "planes" and "cars" and "houses" and "trains". And she has a grand ole time doing it. She's been watching a lot more tv lately, too, which I have mixed feelings about. She asks to watch everyday. Sometimes I just say 'no'; but a lot of the time, we do, for a short period of time. And it drives me nuts a little bit! Because she'll watch about 5 minutes of something and then ask to watch something else ... every 5 minutes! And I just want to say, "Choose something and just watch that!"

It's so fun to watch her try to be like me. She has been playing with my hair a lot lately. She'll ask me to take it out of the ponytail, she'll go get one of her little combs, and then she'll comb my hair a bit. It tends to be a little all over the place and messy. But mostly it's cute that she likes to do it, and she's pretty gentle most of the time. She also tries to put clips in my hair. :) She likes to help me with dinner. She pulls a chair up to the counter and grabs at whatever it is I'm working with. Usually, I have little odds and ends of veggies and things that she can play with. Sometimes she'll try to grab something I want to use, though.

She's getting so inquisitive. It's getting hard to keep up with her, especially being over 8 months pregnant. But I love her, and it's so fun to have her. I wish I could remember all the adorable things she does everyday!

Brooke will sometimes get the camera or my phone and take pictures. Most of them don't turn out, but sometimes, she actually gets something. :)

One day she pulled out all the bows and clips and had me put them in her hair.

Such a beautiful girl!

What a good daddy! Apparently Brooke likes to put clips in his hair, too...

Playing with blocks while wearing sunglasses. :) I love this picture! It makes me giggle.

If it looks like her eyes look a little darker around the edges, that's because she found some of my mascara and decided to try and put some on, like Mamma. I should've gotten a picture of it! Dang!

She found Dadda's lotion. The cabinets looked worse.