January 26, 2010

Tuesday

Well, not much has been going on. Daniel and I are studying right now, nothing new there. Last week, I did a little better in my running, running more laps in between my walking laps. Now I’m up to jogging a mile before walking. And it’s getting easier and more fun. Plus Daniel comes with me every day, which makes it more fun.

Saturday was our 8 month anniversary. We didn’t do anything really cool. We did go out to breakfast at Mimi’s, which was good. But then we spent the whole day working on things and studying. I gave a talk on Sunday; it was really hard to make it flow, but I think it went well overall. It was based on a talk by Elder Holland entitled “the Ministry of Angels”, and it was a really good one.

I’m having the hardest time focusing these days. I haven’t been able to focus in my classes as much as I would like to, and doing schoolwork is such a chore. I have senioritis really bad! But, I’m determined to stick it out and do my best … which means that next month I had better buckle down and do better than I have been. I’m just so tired. And it’s hard to stay focused on something that I don’t see an end result in. I mean, of course I’m going to graduate and all, and that’s good. But I don’t know what I’m going to do with my degree, and that’s discouraging and frustrating, and it makes me not want to work as hard. Plus, even with all that I’ve done while I have been at school, I feel like I missed out on a lot that I could have easily done. And I’m frustrated with myself, because I didn’t do certain things, and I didn’t pay more attention to what I should have studied.

Anyway, I’m really good and happy, though, despite these things. I feel really blessed of the Lord, and I know that even though I don’t know what I’ll be doing and I feel like I have no direction, He has a plan for me, and everything will work out for the best, for me and my family. I have no doubts.

Yesterday, Daniel and I did FHE on creating a gospel-sharing home, based on a talk by Elder Ballard. It inspired me to do better with that and to work harder at being a more devout member of the church.