Last week was a rough week emotionally for me. As I told Daniel one night last week when he could tell that I wasn't doing well, I feel like my confidence and overthinking of things was pretty bad when we were living in California, made worse by the fact that I didn't have really close friends there. But when we moved here, I just decided I was going to be myself and not worry so much, and people could just take me or leave me as I was. And I feel like in doing that I 1) made some really good friends, better than I've had in a long time; and 2) felt much more confident and happy. But since I became relief society president a year ago, I've kinds of reverted back to how it was in California. I overthink what I say and worry so much about how people perceive me and my actions. I think it's because, as a RS president, I feel like I'm constantly being scrutinized and watched by members of the ward and stake, and so I am hyper-conscious of what I am doing and saying and how it's going to be taken by other people. It's been really, really hard, actually, and I feel like I am constantly battling those things. 

Anyway. Last week, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown and went a little bit numb. I sometimes can't stop my brain from going over all the humiliating things I've said and done and examining it from every negative and critical angle. So, that happened with something that happened with another person (I honestly don't remember the incident... maybe in my emotionally numb state, my brain blocked it out), and I just couldn't emotionally handle it. So I got pretty down in the dumps and, like I said, numb. I was very mellow and my social battery was dead for most of the week, and I didn't even start coming out of it until about Friday. 

As a result, I didn't feel like writing or looking at the things I'm grateful for or really trying at anything. So I just didn't write. But we had some fun things happen the last few days. 

On Wednesday we went to Daniel's parent's house for dinner because Aleah was visiting for their kids spring break. 

On Thursday I checked Brooke and her friends out of school at lunchtime to go to the Timpanogos temple for baptisms. 

On Friday, I had a neighbor watch Sawyer so that I could be a chaperone for Camille's field trip, which was so fun and I'm glad I did it. I was worried about leaving Sawyer for so many hours. But he did really well at her house, and seemed fine when I picked him up. Camille and a couple of her friends were assigned to my group, and I was tasked with taking them around the museum of natural history in SLC to each floor and help them explore different parts. They also had an assignment to work on while they were there that focused on one exhibit of the museum. It was pretty fun, actually. We brought sack lunches and ate at the end of our time at the museum before getting back in the bus to go back to the school. It felt very good, being able to spend that time with Camille and volunteering in her class. 

Also on Friday, Daniel and I went on a date to dinner and see the new Snow White movie, which was fun. 

On Saturday we got new furniture: a bunk bed for one of the upstairs bedrooms and a side table for the dining room, and we spent time dejunking and reorganizing and cleaning up. 

Also on Saturday, the girls spent some time preparing a little surprise for me, which Daniel sent to me today: a little audiobook that Brooke recorded on Daniel's phone of the first of a series of books that the girls love. I started listening to it tonight while doing the dishes and it is absolutely adorable. Why are my kids so cute and sweet? I just can't handle it. 

Today, during the Sacrament, I looked over and saw Jack bowing his head in prayer. And my heart may actually have exploded. It was such a sweet and tender sight. My sweet little boy. I love watching my kids as they gain their own faith and testimony and relationship with God.