Tuesday, December 30, 2014

What I've Been Doing Since

Mostly I've been taking care of my babies. I healed up really nicely from having Camille. I didn't have much pain, so it wasn't too bad. Having my mom and Daniel's mom with us to help after Camille was born was really wonderful, but by the end, I was ready to just be alone with my little family. That didn't happen until the second week of this month. My mom was here for that first week after Thanksgiving, waiting for the car to get fixed. It was nice to have her, since Daniel left for Emily's wedding that first Thursday. I felt like I kind of needed the help with the babies, being all alone without Daniel. So I was really glad to have her there. We had a bit of a rough weekend, though. We were both pretty down in the dumps. We went shopping after the car was fixed, I went to church with Brooke on Sunday, and then mom left on Monday, in the morning.

Daniel drove all afternoon and night that Monday to get home. It was nice of him to drive all night, he didn't get home until about 3 in the morning. But I was so glad to have him. I missed him.

This month has been busy mostly getting ready for Christmas, going to doctor's appointments (both for me and for Brooke), going to some lactation appointments, doing shopping, and taking care of babies. We're getting into a bit of a routine, finally. Camille is a wonderful sleeper, so it gives me a chance to do at least a little bit of housework. Nothing much, really. Not fully into what I normally do. Just laundry, dishes, tidying up. I'm hoping to get into my cleaning routine more once the new year starts, ... maybe next week.

Not much else has been happening with me. I am trying to get some more sleep at nights. I'm not pumping as much or finger feeding the little one as much, which takes a lot of the stress off of feeding Camille. It's not 100% breastfeeding, but it's working for now. And at least she is still only getting breast milk. I had kind of a cool experience as I was struggling to breastfeed Camille and as I was getting so frustrated. Weeks after Camille was born, and as she was sort of starting to breastfeed again, I was saying my prayers and asking Heavenly Father if it was ever going to work, to breastfeed Camille. I was in essence asking if we would get there and it was worth all the effort I was putting into it. And I suddenly had this clear image of Camille latching without problem and really feeding. It was so clear, and I was convinced that if we just stuck it out, we would get there and I would realize that image. I also decided that I had to think more positively. I felt that if I was positive and visualized what I wanted from myself and Camille that it would happen more readily. And we are there! She is breastfeeding for almost every feeding! I am a little concerned about her not gaining enough weight, which is why I'm trying to still do finger feedings once or twice a day. But she's still growing, and her diapers are okay, so I figure she's alright.

This Christmas season has been wonderful. I don't know what it is about having a new baby at Christmas, but there's something really special about it. I think a lot about Mary and how it must have felt for her to have the Christ child as her precious little baby. And how she must have marveled. We had a special program in Relief Society, a kind of musical program with readings of scriptures and excerpts of "The Living Christ" in between songs. It was really wonderful! I really felt the Spirit testify of Jesus as my Savior, and I felt very distinctly that the Savior is pleased with me and my current efforts. Despite my weaknesses and the times that I falter, and even though I know He is still expecting me to try and be better, I think He appreciates what I am able to do.

There was also our Stake Christmas Musical Program that Brother Rich does every year. I participated in the choir last year, which was really amazing. This year, I passed it up because I had a new baby. But I did go to one of the performances, and I was crying pretty much the whole time. The music was beautiful, and the Spirit was so strong, testifying of the Savior.

It's just been a great December. I felt more of a focus on Jesus Christ and more of a connection with Him.

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