May 19, 2010

Wednesday

It’s early in the morning, but I wanted to write and do some things first before the day gets crazy, because I know if I don’t, it won’t happen.

Yesterday was a busy day. I got up at 5 in the morning to go to the ward exercise group that 6^th ward does (just to learn and pick up tips on exercise classes), only to find that no one was there. Later, mom told me that they only meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So, when I got home, I did my own thing, going off of one of mom’s exercise DVDs. It was pretty good, and today I’m really sore; combination cross fit on Monday and yesterday’s activities. So, probably today, I won’t be exercising; give my muscles a little break. After exercising, I did all my and Daniel’s laundry and folded it while watching a movie, read scriptures and talked to mom and Diane. The three of us went to see “Letters to Juliet” later that morning at Tinseltown. It was a cute movie, and we all really enjoyed it. The cleanest chic flic I’ve seen in a LONG time.

After we got back, I did my reading assignment that I’d given myself for my personal training book, and then took a 2 hour nap (I mean, really … I was tired; I woke up at 5 in the morning!). I helped mom make dinner and then spent a few hours scrapbooking while we all watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3. That movie actually made me kind of sad. The first one is definitely the best one.

I’ve gotten a lot of scrapbooking done during this little break of ours. It’s been good. But I’ve been thinking a lot about it, scrapbooking and different hobbies like that. And I don’t really know what to do about it. I really love to scrapbook, and I think it helps me develop creativity, which I think I’m lacking. But I look at mom and her love of quilting, and how it takes over much of her time, and how stressed she is trying to accomplish things for others. And I am afraid that I will stress so much over scrapbooking that it will take up too much of my life, when I could be serving and developing myself in other ways. I suppose anything could be a danger; reading could be for me. I love reading and getting caught up in the story, I’m afraid that it could get out of hand and I will end up spending too much time reading. I was thinking about this last night. When do I stop? I’m almost done with my trip to Nauvoo, and next I’m going to work on Spain. But then there’s our honeymoon, and our school years, and coming up our summer in DC, etc, etc, etc. And then when we start having kids? I know it’s kind of ridiculous to stress over something like this. But I am afraid that I will spend too much time on it, and not enough on people. I thought maybe eventually, I could do less scrapbooking and do more of putting pictures in my journal. I mean, everything is on computers nowadays anyway, and it would be easier and less time consuming to do that, though not as pretty or fun.

Last night I was thinking a lot about giving and using our time wisely. Mom told me that Mary doesn’t want me to go to Milli Vanilli today, because I have been saying mean things about it. (Milli Vanilli is a big assembly that North does at the end of every year, and it’s just a competition between the different classes in the form of a dance and song kind of a thing. I didn’t like it much when I was in high school, because I just felt it was a time for the popular kids to get up and show off, girls to dress in skanky clothes and dance all slutty, and the rest of us have to watch. I skipped most of ours when I was in high school … that is, when I could escape it. So I tell Mary how I feel about it, but it’s really important to her, she puts a lot of time and effort into these things and she really likes it. I was mean in saying those things to her, and it was really rude of me, and I feel awful about it.) So, none of us are going to watch her in Milli Vanilli today, because of what Diane and I have said about it. I was feeling really badly about it last night, crying to Daniel about it, because I’m mean and selfish. I’m not as full of love and service as I would like. Sometimes, there’s an opportunity to help someone, or to say a kind word and make someone feel good, and I just don’t want to do it. That’s awful! But it really hit me last night, when Mary didn’t want me to come because I was mean. And I have a new resolve to be kinder and more serviceful. Dan and I also talked about giving to the poor and what that means for us, how much we should give, and how we should spend our money. And there is a lot of room for improvement there for me as well. I think Daniel is good about giving, but I’m not so much. I’m kind of stingy when it comes to money, but then sometimes I spend so frivolously, on stupid things that don’t matter. Sometimes, it really strikes you how far from being like the Savior you are … and last night was one of those times for me. I usually think I’m doing pretty okay. I try to do what is right, and keep the commandments. But sometimes I realize how far I have to go. And today I have a new resolve to do much better; be kinder, more giving, and serve more.